Killing Time

I'm waiting for Veronica Mars to load so I figured I would blog.

Guess I could fill you in on something new and (not) exciting. I got fired yesterday. It kind of sucks. I've never been fired before. Either way, I'm going to find a new job. Something better and something during the day so I can actually get full nights of sleep.

That's about all that's new I guess. Haha. I thought maybe there was more, but I suppose not.

Oh I guess I could tell you about my weekend, but it wasn't too eventful. I got to hang out with my best friend Jesse and go to a show finally. Then I went back to Walter's and played video games with Ryan until he had to leave. Then I crashed there.

Last night was pretty exciting, actually. Hung out with Tony, Addison, and Ryan for most of the night. Throw in some Walter, Dustin, Amy, and Angelia as well. It was a good night. And Tony, Walter, and I are going to steal a 700lb pit bull made of lead. I'm also going to host a cuddle party sometime soon. We can cuddle with the pit bull. yay.

I'm tired. And ready for some VM.

kbye

List

So since my post last night, I've been thinking about what my perfect guy would be like. So I'm going to try and compile a list of qualities I love.

1. Ambition - I want a man who has a career, or is in school working towards that career. I don't want to be with someone who is just going to settle for the job they hate waking up to every morning.

2. Responsibility - As you know I have a child. I want a guy who is responsible in all ways, including monetary issues, work/school, and someone who either has child(ren) (and actually takes care of them) or someone who likes children. My perfect guy would get along great with Kat and they would come to love each other.

3. Intelligence - I don't want a man who uses the word "ain't" in every other sentence. I'm sorry. Speak intelligently. I want a man who I can hold deep and powerful conversations with.

4. Humor - To go with those deep conversations, I want a man who I can joke around with. I want someone who can make me laugh until I cry (it's not that hard to make me do).

5. Attractiveness - I am slightly shallow, but I have to find my guy attractive. I don't think looks are all that matters, but they do matter. This includes hygiene. You must smell good. And you must take good care of your body.

Those are my top five qualities. There are in no particular order.

Now I'm going to describe other qualities that I want:

- Green eyes
- Passion for something
- Ability to cook (I'll help, but I'm not that great)
- Similar taste in music.
- I also want him to like different music than me so maybe he can open my tastes up to new artists
- A nice smile
- Shorter hair. There are only a select few guys that long hair looks good on.
- Musical. I like a man who can play an instrument.
- Willingness to move to Germany with me after Kat turns 18.
- Someone who's not a nurse. I don't want us having the same career.
- Blink 182. I guess you don't have to like them, but don't talk bad about them!
- Randomness. I can be pretty random at times and need someone to keep me on my toes.
- Ability to skate. Skateboard, roller skate, roller blade, whatev'. Somehow you're going to have to keep up with me when I go roller skating cause I'm not going alone.

Well that's all I can think of. You'd think I could find this guy, right? Well nope, I haven't, yet. Hopefully soon!

Current

So I haven't blogged in forever and the last one was really just a bunch of pissed off ramblings. So here's an update on me.

School started back this week. I've got Psychology class Monday nights from 6:30 til 9:15. Tuesday and Thursday I have the same, mostly. My computer class from 9:30a - 10:45a, English 101 from 11a-12:15p, and Anatomy and Physiology II 12:30 - 1:45. I also have my lab for A&PII on Tuesdays. So I have a pretty busy schedule cause I'm still working 11p - 7:30a in the ER.

Roller derby practice started back up two weeks ago. I was so ready to skate again. I was missing it. I don't know if I'm going to take a break yet or not. I think I may just keep going with the flow. Derby is really one of my favorite passions, but I don't want it to affect my school or anything else for that matter. But I never study anyways, so it really shouldn't be a problem, haha.

Um, Kat is getting so big, if you haven't seen her lately. She's a year and half now. Can you believe that? I still can't. She's growing up way too fast. She's been giving me lots of hugs and kisses and it's the sweetest thing in the world. I don't know how I got so lucky to have the greatest kid ever, but I did. And I'm grateful. She's helped me out more than anyone or anything else in this world. She keeps me going that's for sure.

So yeah. My love life is still about the same. I'm single. And I hate it. I'm so fucking picky. I like dating people, but it never lasts long. If I don't feel that connection after a couple weeks, then I give up. I want to find that someone I can spend the rest of my life with. I want to settle down and have a family. I want so much in one person, that I don't know if they even exist. I guess I'm what you'd call a hopeless romantic, or something of that sort. I want a guy who's secure or working towards a good career. Someone who's responsible and doesn't have to drink or do drugs to have fun. A guy who wants to snuggle together all day on a rainy day watching movies. I want a guy who wants to cook for me. And a guy who will taste all of the cookies I try and bake, even if they taste horribly. I want a guy who loves kids and can act all silly with Katherine. I want a guy who can handle me, cause frankly I'm not the most emotionally stable person right now. There's other things, but those are the ones I can think of right now. Oh, and this guy definintely has to like blink 182. haha

I guess that's about all for now. I've updated. You've read. End of story.

OMGWTF

So I haven't blogged in quite a while. Let me start off with a big FUCK YOU.

Okay, I'm very fucking pissed off right now. I don't really want to go in to it either right now. I'm tired of life. I'm tired of everything. It seems like the harder I fucking try, the worse things get. Fuck.

I started counseling today. I really just want some magic fucking pill that will make me happy. Dammit, I fucking deserve to be happy. Why the fuck can't I be happy? It's not fair. I've done so much good in my life and I try harder to succeed than anyone else I have ever met, yet I get shit on all the fucking time. Why do other people get it so fucking easy?

I fucking hate everyone. I really do. I am trying to sit here on my own right now and I have lots of people who insist on fucking talking to me and sitting by me. I'm very much so annoyed with every single person on this earth. I really just want to be alone right now.

Ugh, I'm not making any sense. Oh fucking well.

I can't wait until tonight is over with cause I'm not doing shit this weekend. I'm not leaving my apartment and I don't want any visitors. Actually, I can think of only one person in this world that I would see and wish he would come over, but that's not going to happen. It never is and it fucking kills me. Why the fuck did I have to fall for him? I'm stupid. It was supposed to be just for fun and I wasn't supposed to get attached. So then why did I? Okay, I'm going to stop talking about him now.

Actually, I'm just going to stop talking altogether now.

kfuckingbye

Area 51!!

Yeah I'm going there today.

Anyways, I haven't posted in a couple days. For one, I didn't feel like it, and two, I didn't quite have the time.

Uh, nothing's new really. My Thanksgiving was awesome. I slept all day. It was great. Then I went to work.

I was off Friday. Kat and I went down to Etcetera for a while and she chased a little boy who was close to her age around. It was cute. She was doing her "zombie" walk trying to catch him and give him a hug. She's such a sweetheart! Anyways, she started to get a little cranky so we came home cause it was about her bedtime. She went to sleep and I followed her not long after.

Saturday we didn't do much. Sat around the apartment and watched a movie. Dropped her off at her dad's and came home to do laundry and shit. Then met up with Julie and her friend Adam at Casa Mexicana where we sat around and chatted for a while. Came home and finished up some laundry. Then we headed down to Etcetera and hung out some more down there. Sam joined in as well and it was great seeing her. Then they all left and I just hung out on my laptop and listened to music until it was closing time. Then I decided to leave, so I get to my car and my stupid keypad wouldn't work to unlock it and unfortunately my keys were inside the car (dumb, I know). So finally after getting pissed and pushing all the buttons a million times like a crazy person, the window roll down button worked and I got to reach in and unlock it. I will now be carrying an extra set of keys outside of my car with me at all times. I was like freaking out cause all of my work uniforms and shit were in it cause I had just done laundry. So yeah, went to work and blah, did some work.

Now I'm at home. Getting ready to hit up a shower then off to sleep until it's time to wake up and go to my friend Johnna's sons' birthday party. Going to Area 51 to play some video games and eat some pizza and cake. It's going to be awesome. Then I have to go kick some ass in roller derby, since I kind of wasn't there last week. Then shower again and off to work I go again.

So those are my plans...I'm going to go smoke now before I hop in the shower.

kbye

Hark Knock Life

Gah, I'm not in a bad mood, but I'm just very apathetic right now.

Do you ever feel like you do too much? I do. I feel like there's a lot on my plate right now and I'm thinking of adding more by getting a second job. It won't be so bad for the first month cause I won't have class after two and a half more weeks. I'm just tired, exhausted. I don't really ever get enough sleep. And when I do have the time to sleep, I either have something that needs done or I just can't fall asleep.

Working midnights is getting old. I love the pay and the people I work with (for the most part), but I'm so ready to work a shift where I can sleep a full night. Plus I'm tired of not having a routine for Katherine's bedtime. I want to be there with her at night and read her bedtime stories. I want to tuck her in and kiss her goodnight and wish her sweet dreams. It's very heartbreaking to not be able to do this.

I'm just kind of rambling. I feel like I'm in a weird mood.

We were supposed to have a roller derby team meeting tonight at 7. I was also spending time with Julie cause we haven't spent much time together this past week or so. So I only got to see her for like 45 minutes then left to go to Etcetera. I get down there and no one is there. I was pissed. I know that you can't call me, but it's been that way for a while and I told them to post stuff like that on the yahoo group. Well no one did. So not only did I waste gas driving all the way to the other side of town, I passed up some quality time with my best friend. Ugh.

Things between Ricky and me are going great. I couldn't ask for a sweeter guy. He's really something awesome. I'm excited!

Oh, so my camera is fixed, but unfortunately they sent it to my old address (it's what is on my license) so I'll have to get it from Hooper. I really really want my camera dammit!

Ummm..

I think I'm going to go fix myself some food.

kbye

/stress

So I have a horrible bone test in an hour and a half.

Wish me luck...

kbye4now